I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere…and because Marie Antoinette said: “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche” – “Let them eat cake”
My princess is turned four years seven months and thirteen days!!!! It was her idea to celebrate her 4 year 7 month 13th day birthday…I was game for it because….hey, any excuse for cake!
Granted she probably had a different cake in mind…the Buddy Valastro kind with a talking a minnie mouse, chocolate fountain plus a cameo from barbie & friends and accompanying theatrics! But I assure you what this cake lacks for in theatrics it more than makes up for in scrumptiousness and gorgeousness factor (on a gorgeousness scale of 1-10, it is off sits at an off the scale 1000!).
Too much cake makes your clothes shrink.
It’s incredulously easy to make, so proceed with caution because once you try it you’ll want to bake it every day…and what’s going to happen is that in a few months time you will probably need the jaws of life to pull out your undies from your ass! (that was painfully descriptive!) *read with an ominous voice* You have been warned!
✦⊱ཞ INGREDIENTS ཞ⊰✦
•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.For the Cake•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.
- 1 & 1/2 Cup flour
- 3 Tablespoons Cornflour (aka cornstarch…Kenyans put down the maize meal!)
- 1/2 teaspoon Salt
- 1 tsp Baking Soda
- 9 Tbsp Unsalted Butter, ( or in my case: 3 Tbsp unsalted butter, 3 Tbsps salted butter, 3 Tbsp margarine because I ran out of the unsalted butter, ran out of the salted butter and made up the difference with margarine!)
- 1 Cup sugar
- 3 Large eggs
- 1 Cup strawberry yoghurt (you’ll be pleased to learn that my little munchkin can now pronounce storiberries properly!)
- 1 tsp Vanilla essence (My vanilla essence expires this month and so I used a heavy hand when pouring…I probably used about half a cup!….who needs confession when you have a blog?!)
Just incase you are wondering why we are using cornstarch, it yields a more delicate cake than all purpose flour alone.
TIP: You can make your own cake flour substitute, by adding two tablespoons of cornstarch per cup of all-purpose flour for a recipe. (Say good riddance to cake mixes that are overpriced yet underdeliver in terms of taste!).
•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.For the Icing•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.
- 250ml Double Cream
- 1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar, Sifted
- 2 Tsp Vanilla
- 250g Strawberries
- 3 Tbsps Basalmic vinegar
- 1/4 tsp Red Powder food color/ teensy weensy bit of gel food color.
•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.The cake:•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.
Preheat oven to 200 degrees celsius, very generously spread margarine/butter on the bottom and the sides of the baking tin and set aside.
Sift the flour, salt, bicarbonate of soda and cornstarch, (I do this in an empty ice cream tub, which I cover with the lid, press play on the macarena song and go wild with the choreography). Cream the butter and sugar using a handheld mixer, until it starts to look like fluffy cirrus clouds! Add the eggs and mix, add the vanilla essence, pour the strawberry yoghurt ( I like using the brands that have real strawberries in them), mix. Turn off the mixer, add the dry ingredients and use a silicone spatula to fold them in incrementally (don’t over do this, if you have a few streaks of flour showing, it’s fine!). Pour the mix into the cake tin and place it on the middle rack of the oven.
Bake it at 200 degrees celsius for fifteen minutes, then lower the oven temperature to 170 degrees celcius and bake for a further thirty minutes (I find that when I do this, the top of my cake turns out relatively even, it doesn’t dome-out). Total bake time is approximately 45 minutes (Start checking at the 4o min mark because depending on your oven it may take 40-50 mins), check to ensure a cake tester or a toothpick comes back up clear. Once it’s ready take it out of the oven let it cool down for about 10 minutes, then take it out of the cake tin, place it on a wire rack and let it cool down.
•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.The icing:•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.
Slice the strawberries in half, add 5 Tbsp Icing sugar and let them sit for about half an hour, add the basalmic vinegar, and set it aside.
Pour the double cream into a bowl and whisk….if you are a sadist… you will do this by hand… if you are Armish… electricity is the devil so are hand held whisks, hair dryers and vibrators, so use a good old fashioned whisk. If you don’t fall into either of the categories above then use a mixer…handheld or otherwise. Whisk the cream, as it begins to thicken, add the icing sugar, vanilla essence and food colour, and whisk until soft peaks form.
Life is short so lick the bowl, spatula,whisk and your fingers!
•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.My mental status:•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.
I started baking this cake after work and I was losing light FAST…I photograph in natural light because…well they say food photographs best that way, but have you met my camera aka my phone??? So by the time I was icing the cake my stress levels were pretty close to 2007 Britney Spears.
•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.Constituting the pièce de résistance,•* ☀¨`*•.•´*.¸☀.
the magnum opus, the chef-d’œuvre:
Nothing much has changed when I was twelve years my students companion had dog ears coz I loved words, I was such a wordie! knowing their synonyms, antonyms,
sometimes even their meanings! Now that I am twenty six *profusive throat clearing* and a lot of some change I get to google the ish out of these synonyms. Please ignore this paragraph, forget you read it, because I use words like magnum opus and chef-d’œuvre casually in speech, every other day.
Slice the cake in half… if you do this vertically and not horizontally then shout out to you dummy, YOU obviously drank the dummy kool aid, have the Tshirt and are the brand ambassador of Dumb Inc. …but I would love to hang out with you coz you are so my people!!
Ok, slice the cake in half (as shown above), pour the half the syrup from the strawberry basalmic vinegar mix. Spoon half the strawberries onto the cake. Schlop (it’s a word) the whipped cream onto the cake.
Layer on the second half of the cake pour the remaining syrup on it and spoon out the remaining strawberries. Schlop the rest of the cream and use a spatula to get some on the sides.
Top with some strawberries and pop it in the freezer for about 1o minutes, after which you can do a cake dive or put it in the refrigerator and serve it later.
I suggest you soundproof your house because -“Dear God”…you will find yourself saying those words except with a slightly different inflection… kinda like Deeeeeeear God! and that will make for an awkward next morning, when you bump into your neighbours at the parking lot #NoEyeContact, #SomeOneGotSome #ItsNotWhatYouThink #NoWonderShesLimping .
By the time we were done, it was dinner time, so we wound up having the cake at around 8:30pm and we sang “Happy 4 year 7 month 13th day birthday to you” and she was beaming with joy, she cut the cake, fed each one of us, had a sugar high and eventually collapsed into a sugar coma…I on the other hand had to keep fighting the urge to open the fridge and indulge in another slice!